Be My Valentine

Here it is... tomorrow I mean. Valentine's Day. The day that started it all. The day I still kind of fall apart on... I can't help it. Being cursed for so long... John and I started to have a disagreement yesterday that turned into a standoff for a few hours and I crumbled. I let the "curse" take hold and I cried a little.

I thought this is ridiculous... it's just Wednesday. NOT the week of Valentine's Wednesday. 

So, I worked to make it better. And because he's my John... so did he. That is why we work. That is why we make it. Because together we have the same end result in our mind every time. Not once in while. EVERY time we want a solution that makes us both happy and we are willing to throw everything we've got at it. We talk openly and honestly like I wish I could have with so many other relationships, but didn't. I guess I had to grow up. I had to realize that someday, you have to spill some guts to get it all. Risk vs. reward.

I was afraid to let them see me. I would fall apart... not attractive. No one likes a girl that crumbles. Well, I crumble. And John knows that. He accepts that as part of me. He doesn't hold it against me and he doesn't prey on it. He also has a quick defense when I'm clearly not attacking. I work with it. I do not attack him either. I rework my words until I get the right ones. We have lived through all of the selfish, crazy, and "this is how it should be" scenarios that we've both made in our lives and have let them go. Yes, selfishness can rear it's head here and there... and sometimes it needs a cuddle and a pat on the head... yes, you can have your way... But, most of those little fits are just silly and we move on. We move on together.

I read an article yesterday about putting aside all the adjectives that we like to throw at our kids, our spouse, partner, colleagues etc... It started by asking what did parents say to Olympic athletes that made them so successful. Here is the link: 6 Words You Should Say. 

To sum up -  we can really sum up our feelings toward them very quickly with a simple and powerful statement. I've been trying it out... and damn if it doesn't work on me as much as the person I'm saying it to. You can feel the lovely energy and it makes you smile so much!! It feels like a lovely incantation that does so much good. Try it out today. Start with something simple like:
"I love watching you ________."

I love watching you play.

{doesn't matter if you're perfect to anyone else; you're always perfect to me}

I love watching you smile.

{and I will do everything in my power to make you smile}

I love watching you teach Xan.

{seeing John with Xan makes me miss my father, 

but I can see that Xan has a wonderful life ahead of him}

I love watching you make every detail on your uniform perfect.

{the pride and passion that goes into your work fills my heart with happiness for you}

I've put together a little montage of quotes that, to me, say something about how we love. 

You can print and share the ones that resonate most with you if you'd like.