"A friend is someone who knows you,
and loves you just the same."
-- Elbert Hubbard
I am going home soon. 6 days!! I'm excited to see my siblings and cousins... the best friends anyone can grow up with! I've been away for so long... Going on about 8 years to be sentimental... There's much to catch up on with everyone. Just the same, I know I've changed a lot. Sure, there are stories to tell about doing this and that in all my travels. But those people who I've been able to keep in touch with through facebook or phone... or lovely visits know who I am. My change has happened happily on the inside. And of course with some well earned gray on the outside. Heck, the biggest changes in my life didn't necessarily happen in Rome or Winchester, although, I believe many events lead me to the last two years. I've met my soul mate, I've gotten married, had the dearest blessing of a child and I'm about to move back home and start an incredible business venture with a great friend! {can I say that yet?!?}I've had many 'homes'. But I've learned true HOME is where all the people you love are near by in both proximity but also in soul connections. While, to have proximity, I would have to fold the earth to get them ALL near me... So we rely on those deeper soul vibrations to keep us close. For two years Xan, John and I have been a little unit here on the prairie... we exist with each other happy and without cares outside of us. I hope for our sake, you can go home again. Because I want John and Xan to know the love that grows from dear friends and family that share your home, your food, your love and your happiness.
It will actually be an adjustment, although for me an incredibly necessary one, to have family near and visiting all the time again. I've grown casually used to being alone with Xan or John so much. I've had them to myself for so long. And they have had me. Now we have to share!! I laugh... But it has been an incredible opportunity for us to get to know one another in a way few couples get. We've had to break a lot of boundaries quickly, although for us it was never a difficult effort. I am stubborn, lord knows. And so is John... again, I smile. We are so much alike and yet we have brought two very different outlooks to one another. Bringing Xan into our lives has been a journey we've both looked forward to every single day. It truly does just keep getting better!
I've also been talking to a dear friend about friendships that are broken, people that disappear out of our lives, and how that can make you feel empty or as if you did something wrong. I don't always know why we leave people behind. We make a lot of decisions based on what is going on in that moment. Later we see that it was a bad decision and we try to mend fences or we feel embarrassed and decide to save face so to speak and just try to move forward. Audrey Hepburn said you should never leave anyone behind that you meet... and that is a generous sentiment. I have to admit though that God sends people into our lives {as the saying goes} for a reason, a season, or a lesson. I ask the universe for a lot of forgiveness to be cast across my past. I ask for it a lot. I know I haven't always been the best friend, sister, cousin, niece, daughter, grand-daughter, wife, mother... that I could be. I know that I try harder everyday to be the person that I would look to admire. Afterall, Xan will not follow my words as much as he will follow my actions. I think about that a lot. John and I both do.
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| my sister kathy and her sweet litte guy nolan. he's 4 now and so tall. he's about 2 in this photo. i can't wait to see them! |
As we might judge ourselves, or others for their decisions, perhaps we should remember that we don't always know the options that the other person had when they chose to do what they did. Emotions are wild things at times. And it seems like the right thing at the time... maybe it was our heart... hurt, upset, overjoyed, or some other fleeting bit that decided the outcome. Maybe it was your head... logical, pragmatic, or it just made things 'easier'. There are many causes and effects that come into play. I cannot judge others. I hope they have the heart to forgive my misguiding as well. I am clearing some cobwebs this spring, and opening my heart and soul to a new beginning. Is there anything more frightening and exciting than that? Nah, not for us.
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| xan... 8 months old. |
As we head home to create new relationships out of old... as so many of my friends also have children that I'm excited to meet. I also have friends who don't have children and are excited to make Xan a part of their lives as extended aunties and uncles. What more could a kid want?? He's so unbelievably blessed!! His god-parents {Kristen & John} have remarked to us that he was born precisely at this moment in our lives for a reason. We know that is the truth... we live it everyday. He is an amazing soul. Just wait till you meet him! You will feel it too. I can't just say that as his mother... but yet, I can, can't I. {huge smile!}
I've been kind of a quote junkie this week... I thought I'd share a few that are from my quote collection about friendship.
If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are to me.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. -- Mother Teresa {this is the mantra for my blog}
Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. -- Dalai Lama
Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher. -- Oprah Winfrey
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. -- Peggy O’Mara {but this works truly for everyone we encounter, doesn’t it.}
You might not know this... but I’d go out of my way, just to make sure that you’re okay.
What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.
Always give a little more than you promise.
I believe that God sent you into my life to give me something to fight for, to show me there is love in this world, to give me hope and to bring me joy. All the proof in God I need is in you. You are a gift from the heavens.
Today you are YOU, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is your than YOU. -- Dr. Seuss
Rowing harder doesn’t help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction.
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. -- Eleanor Roosevelt.
You and I are more than friends... We’re like a really small gang.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. -- Marcus Aurelies
People always tell you to follow your heart. What they don’t tell you is that it might not always be a happy ending.
Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who YOU are.
When you think you’re going to lose something, is the moment it becomes the most important focus in your life. -- me... {and many others, don’t wait for that moment, be grateful EVERY day}
