Don't we all wish we had a simple and convenient kitchen? They look like the ones in Better Homes and Gardens right? They have massive amounts of cupboards and pantry space. Everything is so organized! And I bet they own every appliance and gadget that you've drooled over at Williams & Sonoma as well. Sigh. If only my kitchen looked like that I'd BEG to stay home and cook. Isn't that what we think?
Okay, back to earth.
I have a theory that the cupboards, except the ones that have glass doors are empty. Or, if you can afford a kitchen like that surely you can afford a personal chef. I thought of becoming a chef last year to do just that. I wanted to be the vegan/ vegetarian version of Giada de Laurentis. Sigh. Not in my cards yet. I just saw those kitchens and thought... that is like an amusement park to me! I could have so much fun!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A Remembrance and a Thank You
On Sunday, Celena Hollis was murdered in City Park in Denver. Celena was a Denver police officer. She attempted to break up a fight and was fatally shot in the incident. Notably, Celena was also from Detroit where she served on the police force there. So, not only did she have ties close to where we live now... She was from my home state. I felt strongly about writing this post today. I thought you should know about her as well.
I don't need to tell you that this was a horrible and disgusting crime. You might also know that my husband is a police officer. This, like other events in the military, where I have nephews, god-daughters and friends serving... hits home hard. It can happen to anyone. At anytime.
I don't need to tell you that this was a horrible and disgusting crime. You might also know that my husband is a police officer. This, like other events in the military, where I have nephews, god-daughters and friends serving... hits home hard. It can happen to anyone. At anytime.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Grocery Shopping & Meal Planning
I'm not going to kid you, the meal planning thing is hard. I've looked up other meal plans and that alone can keep you occupied for hours! I know I'm being particular, but people eat a lot of CRAP!! I can't just download a bunch of other menus... they aren't very good. If they aren't loaded with junk, they are trying to impress me with their Martha Stewart like recipes. Ugh. I couldn't find half of the ingredients where I live. And again... In a few weeks I am not going to have hours to do this. I don't expect I will have ANY time to do this.
I need to get this streamlined a little quicker. I've downloaded a pretty nice grocery shopping app called "Grocery IQ". I like that it has brand named items and gives you coupons too. It also allows you to scan everything into your cart so you know how much you're spending. My dedicated shopping day is Sunday so tomorrow we will see how this works out! I think this week, I will use a little of my "free" time and I will try to come up with two more weeks of menus (with all our staples) and I'm done. We will be a little boring for a bit... but it will be yummy!!
I need to get this streamlined a little quicker. I've downloaded a pretty nice grocery shopping app called "Grocery IQ". I like that it has brand named items and gives you coupons too. It also allows you to scan everything into your cart so you know how much you're spending. My dedicated shopping day is Sunday so tomorrow we will see how this works out! I think this week, I will use a little of my "free" time and I will try to come up with two more weeks of menus (with all our staples) and I'm done. We will be a little boring for a bit... but it will be yummy!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Budget Marathon
I’ve called this a marathon because I know it takes training to run one. You can’t just jump in the crowd and run a marathon. Not without serious injury anyway. And I have never successfully followed a budget. Not without serious injury anyway. I usually end up overspending because I feel denied or restricted. Just like a dieter may feel if denied sweets too long and then go binging like crazy on ice cream. So, John and I are in training right now. While I still have paychecks coming in from teaching school last year, we are pretending that money doesn’t exist. We are doing this because, John and I have decided that I will stay home with Xan after he is born for at least one year (longer if I can). This means living on a salary of less than $28,000 for the three of us.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Eating for One (plus a little bit) & a recipe
When we got pregnant my doctor said, "Now Rebekah, you aren't eating for two. You're eating for one and 'a little bit'." I said I understood and was already reading up on how to stay slim through my first trimester and gain just one pound a week through my second trimester, then you finish up only gaining between 25 and 30 pounds. Which was my goal all along. I didn't want to be more miserable than I had to be gaining all of the extra weight in the middle of the desert summer.
I was blessed not to have morning sickness. I ate like a pig. I also started showing early. I don't have a very long torso so my uterus had no where to go but out. By 4 months I was out. I was so hoping to stay out of the maternity clothes for a while. But my belly and my rear end were at odds with my thoughts. My mom and I went shopping for jeans when I was back home in Michigan. They were cute! And comfy at that. I finally embraced the notion I was going to gain a lot of weight and figured that this was the time to do it!
Being proactive, I joined Curves gym. To get out and have a goal in mind. I want to be a fit pregnant woman who breezes through labor because she is strong and able. Of course in the past nine months after reading an incredible book called "The Gentle Birth Method" I realize it isn't only physical fitness but mental fitness that prepares you for birth. I've worked on meditation and even self-hypnosis for the big day. My husband keeps coughing the word..."epidural" out at me... but honestly that scares me more than contractions. I don't react well to pain medication. I don't like taking pills. I don't like feeling like I can't handle something. When you are numbed up you can't leave your bed, you need a catheter, you have to be constantly monitored... here come the IVs... Yeah, not so much my party.
If I could have my way... I would love a mid-wife and a birthing pool at home! THAT would have been exactly perfect. I'm such a hippee... (as John puts it :) In lieu of that choice, I have a good doctor and a caring hospital. They understand what I want and have vowed to try and accommodate my birth plan as closely as possible. Even if I can't have a water birth... sigh. I am Aquarius the water bearer! It just makes sense. Plus, my husband is a Pisces. We were always meant to have a fish for a baby either way.
Will the pain be bearable? I don't know. I've never done this before. I honestly am going to keep my expectations low. I am going into this with the attitude of, yeah it is bearable. My body was made to do this. I will do my best to be present, relax, and let the moment be about my son and I, as a team, making this birth happen. I chose to trust my body. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. This won't last forever. A long time... what seems like it, I'm sure. Forever, no. I have a wonderful husband that I've been telling this 'story' to weekly. Sometimes daily. It is my affirmation. My mantra for labor and delivery. I have music picked out and even great visualizations. I want this day to be about calm. I truly believe it will. And I've resolved that if something, anything must intervene, that it is also the way it was supposed to be. I am reaching deep into my yoga roots for this day. I'm excited about it!
Two weeks ago Wednesday, I wound up in the emergency room with a pain in my chest and back that would not subside. The Tuesday before I had the same pain and I was able to manage it with breathing, John rubbing my back and eating a tub of Tums. I thought it was heartburn or worse acid reflux. But nothing they gave me to settle my stomach acid at the hospital would work. After 5 long hours in chest, back and stomach pain, I'd had 2 IVs, several medications and many out of breath moments. My pain finally subsided into a 'bruised' feeling. I ate half a cracker and a few bites of jello. Of course they had me connected to monitors for the baby, I started to have some contractions... no doubt with all the fuss going on. They eventually stopped and I was sent home to sleep upright as best as I could. I tried to eat in the morning. Toast and jello. Oh my lord... here comes the pain again. My doctor made an appointment with the gastroenterologist for me. I saw him the following Tuesday.
I have wonderful doctors... thank the Lord. I have been taking Prilosec two times a day, and I have a diet that was surprising to me. I thought it was going to be all rice and turkey, toast and oatmeal. Actually, I'm to stay entirely away from wheat, dairy, any high fat or high carbohydrate foods. Lean protein and veggies only. I'm learning that the veggie and fruit list is short. I can't eat asparagus, cucumbers, onions, tomato, cherries (I'm dying here), grapes, or lettuce so far. Broccoli, peas, carrots, cauliflower, and spinach seem to be okay as long as they are over cooked. Apples (small) and snacking on frozen raspberries seems to be okay. As for the veggies, I don't season them with anything. Not even salt and pepper. I've lost 8 pounds in the past three weeks, but baby Xan is doing great. And those pounds weren't doing anything for me or him anyway!
I've also been drinking two protein shakes a day. I tried using almond milk, which makes them taste so good! But hurts me... So I cut it in half with water. Still hurts a little, but damn I have to eat something! Rice milk is high in sugar and I just can't do dairy even on a good day. I'm trying to avoid a ton of soy. I've heard about the estrogen link and since I already eat soy cheese and tofu I figure the soy milk was just too much. Sigh. On the bright side... I'm getting creative. And I slowly test foods out. Today I will share my awesome breakfast!
I eat egg whites everyday with some kind of veggie. I tried out corn tortillas the other day without any reaction so I've started wrapping them up for a few more calories. Today I went all out adding turkey and avocado! I ate too much which I am paying for right now... as I write this sitting very straight and not thinking of the pain on my right side. Yeah, not just ingredients to watch out for but portion size. I usually eat one half of a meal, then come back to it in 30 or so minutes for best results.
slice of vegan cheese
1/2 avocado
3 oz. turkey
1 cup wilted spinach
2 corn tortillas
Of course this is what I have to eat. You can adjust the ingredients to suit your palette and your diet. Blah and plain is for me right now. Someday I will be able to smother this awesomeness with green salsa or green chili! Even a nice sprinkling of pico de gallo would be yummy. Serve this with a side of pinto or black beans and I think you've got a serious brunch on your plate as well. Sorry my food photography isn't as sexy as some blogs... I will have to hire a stylist I guess!
Today starts my 36th week. Four weeks to term, one week to 'I can go at a moments notice', says the clever doctor. Sigh. I'm so looking forward to meeting this baby. John and I are very imaginative people. We visualize him sitting with us, sleeping, napping, eating, all kinds of songs to sing to him and even what the dog will think when he cries, laughs and starts walking. It still seems like a dream to me though. I guess because I've been waiting for 9 months in a world of instant gratification. Today I'm going to work on my office space and getting a few things hung up in the nursery. I will be sure to share pictures of our spaces soon!
I was blessed not to have morning sickness. I ate like a pig. I also started showing early. I don't have a very long torso so my uterus had no where to go but out. By 4 months I was out. I was so hoping to stay out of the maternity clothes for a while. But my belly and my rear end were at odds with my thoughts. My mom and I went shopping for jeans when I was back home in Michigan. They were cute! And comfy at that. I finally embraced the notion I was going to gain a lot of weight and figured that this was the time to do it!
Being proactive, I joined Curves gym. To get out and have a goal in mind. I want to be a fit pregnant woman who breezes through labor because she is strong and able. Of course in the past nine months after reading an incredible book called "The Gentle Birth Method" I realize it isn't only physical fitness but mental fitness that prepares you for birth. I've worked on meditation and even self-hypnosis for the big day. My husband keeps coughing the word..."epidural" out at me... but honestly that scares me more than contractions. I don't react well to pain medication. I don't like taking pills. I don't like feeling like I can't handle something. When you are numbed up you can't leave your bed, you need a catheter, you have to be constantly monitored... here come the IVs... Yeah, not so much my party.
If I could have my way... I would love a mid-wife and a birthing pool at home! THAT would have been exactly perfect. I'm such a hippee... (as John puts it :) In lieu of that choice, I have a good doctor and a caring hospital. They understand what I want and have vowed to try and accommodate my birth plan as closely as possible. Even if I can't have a water birth... sigh. I am Aquarius the water bearer! It just makes sense. Plus, my husband is a Pisces. We were always meant to have a fish for a baby either way.
Will the pain be bearable? I don't know. I've never done this before. I honestly am going to keep my expectations low. I am going into this with the attitude of, yeah it is bearable. My body was made to do this. I will do my best to be present, relax, and let the moment be about my son and I, as a team, making this birth happen. I chose to trust my body. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. This won't last forever. A long time... what seems like it, I'm sure. Forever, no. I have a wonderful husband that I've been telling this 'story' to weekly. Sometimes daily. It is my affirmation. My mantra for labor and delivery. I have music picked out and even great visualizations. I want this day to be about calm. I truly believe it will. And I've resolved that if something, anything must intervene, that it is also the way it was supposed to be. I am reaching deep into my yoga roots for this day. I'm excited about it!
Two weeks ago Wednesday, I wound up in the emergency room with a pain in my chest and back that would not subside. The Tuesday before I had the same pain and I was able to manage it with breathing, John rubbing my back and eating a tub of Tums. I thought it was heartburn or worse acid reflux. But nothing they gave me to settle my stomach acid at the hospital would work. After 5 long hours in chest, back and stomach pain, I'd had 2 IVs, several medications and many out of breath moments. My pain finally subsided into a 'bruised' feeling. I ate half a cracker and a few bites of jello. Of course they had me connected to monitors for the baby, I started to have some contractions... no doubt with all the fuss going on. They eventually stopped and I was sent home to sleep upright as best as I could. I tried to eat in the morning. Toast and jello. Oh my lord... here comes the pain again. My doctor made an appointment with the gastroenterologist for me. I saw him the following Tuesday.
I have wonderful doctors... thank the Lord. I have been taking Prilosec two times a day, and I have a diet that was surprising to me. I thought it was going to be all rice and turkey, toast and oatmeal. Actually, I'm to stay entirely away from wheat, dairy, any high fat or high carbohydrate foods. Lean protein and veggies only. I'm learning that the veggie and fruit list is short. I can't eat asparagus, cucumbers, onions, tomato, cherries (I'm dying here), grapes, or lettuce so far. Broccoli, peas, carrots, cauliflower, and spinach seem to be okay as long as they are over cooked. Apples (small) and snacking on frozen raspberries seems to be okay. As for the veggies, I don't season them with anything. Not even salt and pepper. I've lost 8 pounds in the past three weeks, but baby Xan is doing great. And those pounds weren't doing anything for me or him anyway!
 | |||
| Me at 35 weeks! |
I've also been drinking two protein shakes a day. I tried using almond milk, which makes them taste so good! But hurts me... So I cut it in half with water. Still hurts a little, but damn I have to eat something! Rice milk is high in sugar and I just can't do dairy even on a good day. I'm trying to avoid a ton of soy. I've heard about the estrogen link and since I already eat soy cheese and tofu I figure the soy milk was just too much. Sigh. On the bright side... I'm getting creative. And I slowly test foods out. Today I will share my awesome breakfast!
 |
| Huevos Rancheros California |
Huevos Rancheros "California"
3/4 cup egg whitesslice of vegan cheese
1/2 avocado
3 oz. turkey
1 cup wilted spinach
2 corn tortillas
Of course this is what I have to eat. You can adjust the ingredients to suit your palette and your diet. Blah and plain is for me right now. Someday I will be able to smother this awesomeness with green salsa or green chili! Even a nice sprinkling of pico de gallo would be yummy. Serve this with a side of pinto or black beans and I think you've got a serious brunch on your plate as well. Sorry my food photography isn't as sexy as some blogs... I will have to hire a stylist I guess!
Today starts my 36th week. Four weeks to term, one week to 'I can go at a moments notice', says the clever doctor. Sigh. I'm so looking forward to meeting this baby. John and I are very imaginative people. We visualize him sitting with us, sleeping, napping, eating, all kinds of songs to sing to him and even what the dog will think when he cries, laughs and starts walking. It still seems like a dream to me though. I guess because I've been waiting for 9 months in a world of instant gratification. Today I'm going to work on my office space and getting a few things hung up in the nursery. I will be sure to share pictures of our spaces soon!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Channeling Kunstler
I follow a blog by James Howard Kunstler. He mainly talks about urban issues, economic schema and the environment. He is one of the most amazingly passionate writers when it comes to his opinion. Something I identify with right now... And honestly, reading his work lately makes me think I might be needing to get something off my chest the blunt way that he does. His blog is called ClusterFuck Nation if you’re interested in taking a look. (Sorry for my readers that don’t use cuss words)
I live in a small town. A town the size of most of the neighborhoods I’ve lived in. The town of La Junta is about 8,000 residents. The entire county is 18,855 people according to the 2010 census. Yes, I said the ENTIRE county. I believe there were nearly 12,000 students on campus when I attended Notre Dame. Not to mention on game day... HA! 80,000+ people. Most of us have been to a sold out baseball game in some major stadium... Such as Rockies Stadium which holds over 50,000 seats. Just to paint the picture in very clearly to my urban friends. 19,000 people isn’t a lot.
La Junta does not have a city planner on staff nor does it have a master plan for the city. It also has not updated the comprehensive plan since the 80’s and the county has no plan to invest the already red budget in creating a document that will sit on the shelf. Yes, I’m turning red with frustration... I can’t help it!!! So many of these small towns do not know how to use long range planning documents. No wonder we are in trouble!! Good Lord what do we do??
As a built environment, the town and neighborhoods are nicely gridded and feel good to walk around (even without sidewalks). There is a fantastic WPA park in the center of town too. A train station that actually still has an Amtrak commuter route to Santa Fe, San Diego and Chicago. Consequently, John and I are planning a trip back home by train just for that reason! However, the town layout is now punctuated by tear downs of many abandoned Victorian homes, replaced by ranch burgers... that ignore their alleys and have newly carved out driveways leading to the street. Yes, it makes me want to cry. I live in one of those ranch burgers. Sigh... as my heart rate continues to go up. Especially as NO ONE here seems to see this injustice!! "Progress is a driveway sweetie, what do we need alleys for?" Okay... I can’t breathe, have you all been locked in a closet for the past 20 years?? Don’t even get me started on the historic downtown structures that are slated for demolition and the grocery store that WAS downtown that I try NOT to drive by because again... my blood pressure... arrgghh!!!
This brings me to how you live in a town that was built in the old west, based on a tradition, yet shuns it for “progress”. Progress is defined as a town built on ranching and farming, that now shops freely at Wal-Mart. Progress is further defined by breaking the grid in favor of swirly-twirly streets and cul-de-sacs. Progress is tearing down the grocery store building next door so that the bank, visited by 10 maybe 12 people an hour that can park on the street can now park in a lot!! If I could switch banks I would!! If I had any damn choices in this town I would make them!! And I would let them know I switched banks because they created that parking lot too. Jerks. !@#$... (Insert Kunstler speak here...)
I know that I come from a different planet than those persons born and raised out here on the prairie. That I have a different perspective. Honestly, I swear it is that I know too damn much. I feel like Erin Brockovich or something! I feel like I need to tell everyone of the injustice around them. But I’m the newbie. What do I know?? What do I REALLY know?? I don’t know if I will be beaten into submission or just keep working to find other like minded people with a bigger cause to fight for. For now, I’m getting it out in this blog and it makes me feel better just to have said how I feel. Even if there isn’t anything I can do about it. I see potential in what is here... Others see potential in plowing down what is here and transforming it into another place they’ve seen. Because anything but here is better right? They’ve really been beaten down. This town has no self-esteem.
Fact remains that John and I are here because it is a town with a dedicated and proud police department. They work tirelessly to make decisions for people that cannot make them for themselves. Domestic violence, child abuse, animal abuse, rampant drugs, theft and gang fights are par for any evenings events. We feel like we want to make a difference here. No, we aren’t sure if we can... but we want to make a difference here. There are more than just built environment and economic issues here that have been like a vice down on the population. None of this is new, I can’t help but see that the drug use, poverty, generational apathy and job losses have been plaguing La Junta before the rest of the country felt even a pinch of an economic downturn.
Why not just walk away and give this to someone else? Because that’s not us. Damn if we don't love a challenge. If John and I aren’t doing something that can’t help someone else... we just feel unfulfilled. I forgot to mention John and I are 9 days apart in birthdays. Feb 16th (me) and Feb 25th (him) both of us 1973. Makes me believe just a little more in that horoscope hootenanny!! We are very much alike when it comes to community service, reaching out and just the desperate need to feel like you’re a bigger part of something.
So, for now I grab my keys, I put aside my cynical nature as much as possible to get in my car and drive to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, the reason the downtown market closed. The reason Safeway struggles. The reason the farm markets are scattered and dismantled. I know it and I vote for it with every dollar I spend there. I know that. I go to Safeway when I can. But it is very expensive. I desperately try to feed the family in the only way I know how, healthy veggies that can rarely be found. Organic meat and produce that should be on every shelf is no where in sight. I can hear the gasps... I know. Rebekah drives to the grocery store (Wal-Mart no less) and she is eating food that isn’t organic and hasn’t burst into flames? Yeah, I've been like the phoenix... I still rise. In fact, I have photos to share of the Wal-Mart shelves that are sparsely filled of veggies and fruit. It is getting more and more difficult to get food shipped here, is your town next?? Stop being so naive about food production.
I took these because I wanted to show John that I wasn't kidding when I said reviving the bakery was not a possibility. I could no longer get the ingredients I needed to bake. I was having one of those days. This is a random afternoon and when I go today it will be the same. This is not after a holiday or in the middle of a stocking change.
The devil Wal-Mart I’m sure came with all these grand boasts of everything you ever wanted and more... jobs and all that jazz. No full-time employees of course. Bullshit is what they came with as usual. All this farmland surrounding the Wal-Mart no less. I’ve got an idea... GROW LOCAL! BUY LOCAL! Yeah, I’m the insane one. Because we live in a desert prairie that sells its water to Kansas. What is a prairie girl, with two cars, that lives in a ranch house that has turned its back to the alley to do? Right now, not a damn thing. I can’t point a finger at anybody without getting one right back. I don’t have any other choices. Frustration builds and ebbs away... every few weeks. Ignorance would be bliss about now.
I had to add after all of that ranting that my friend Allison sent me an email that I needed today. It was very thoughtful and had beautiful words of wisdom. I think this is what I needed before I created this post. But happy to have it after nonetheless.
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” Eckart Tolle
I live in a small town. A town the size of most of the neighborhoods I’ve lived in. The town of La Junta is about 8,000 residents. The entire county is 18,855 people according to the 2010 census. Yes, I said the ENTIRE county. I believe there were nearly 12,000 students on campus when I attended Notre Dame. Not to mention on game day... HA! 80,000+ people. Most of us have been to a sold out baseball game in some major stadium... Such as Rockies Stadium which holds over 50,000 seats. Just to paint the picture in very clearly to my urban friends. 19,000 people isn’t a lot.
La Junta does not have a city planner on staff nor does it have a master plan for the city. It also has not updated the comprehensive plan since the 80’s and the county has no plan to invest the already red budget in creating a document that will sit on the shelf. Yes, I’m turning red with frustration... I can’t help it!!! So many of these small towns do not know how to use long range planning documents. No wonder we are in trouble!! Good Lord what do we do??
As a built environment, the town and neighborhoods are nicely gridded and feel good to walk around (even without sidewalks). There is a fantastic WPA park in the center of town too. A train station that actually still has an Amtrak commuter route to Santa Fe, San Diego and Chicago. Consequently, John and I are planning a trip back home by train just for that reason! However, the town layout is now punctuated by tear downs of many abandoned Victorian homes, replaced by ranch burgers... that ignore their alleys and have newly carved out driveways leading to the street. Yes, it makes me want to cry. I live in one of those ranch burgers. Sigh... as my heart rate continues to go up. Especially as NO ONE here seems to see this injustice!! "Progress is a driveway sweetie, what do we need alleys for?" Okay... I can’t breathe, have you all been locked in a closet for the past 20 years?? Don’t even get me started on the historic downtown structures that are slated for demolition and the grocery store that WAS downtown that I try NOT to drive by because again... my blood pressure... arrgghh!!!
This brings me to how you live in a town that was built in the old west, based on a tradition, yet shuns it for “progress”. Progress is defined as a town built on ranching and farming, that now shops freely at Wal-Mart. Progress is further defined by breaking the grid in favor of swirly-twirly streets and cul-de-sacs. Progress is tearing down the grocery store building next door so that the bank, visited by 10 maybe 12 people an hour that can park on the street can now park in a lot!! If I could switch banks I would!! If I had any damn choices in this town I would make them!! And I would let them know I switched banks because they created that parking lot too. Jerks. !@#$... (Insert Kunstler speak here...)
I know that I come from a different planet than those persons born and raised out here on the prairie. That I have a different perspective. Honestly, I swear it is that I know too damn much. I feel like Erin Brockovich or something! I feel like I need to tell everyone of the injustice around them. But I’m the newbie. What do I know?? What do I REALLY know?? I don’t know if I will be beaten into submission or just keep working to find other like minded people with a bigger cause to fight for. For now, I’m getting it out in this blog and it makes me feel better just to have said how I feel. Even if there isn’t anything I can do about it. I see potential in what is here... Others see potential in plowing down what is here and transforming it into another place they’ve seen. Because anything but here is better right? They’ve really been beaten down. This town has no self-esteem.
Fact remains that John and I are here because it is a town with a dedicated and proud police department. They work tirelessly to make decisions for people that cannot make them for themselves. Domestic violence, child abuse, animal abuse, rampant drugs, theft and gang fights are par for any evenings events. We feel like we want to make a difference here. No, we aren’t sure if we can... but we want to make a difference here. There are more than just built environment and economic issues here that have been like a vice down on the population. None of this is new, I can’t help but see that the drug use, poverty, generational apathy and job losses have been plaguing La Junta before the rest of the country felt even a pinch of an economic downturn.
Why not just walk away and give this to someone else? Because that’s not us. Damn if we don't love a challenge. If John and I aren’t doing something that can’t help someone else... we just feel unfulfilled. I forgot to mention John and I are 9 days apart in birthdays. Feb 16th (me) and Feb 25th (him) both of us 1973. Makes me believe just a little more in that horoscope hootenanny!! We are very much alike when it comes to community service, reaching out and just the desperate need to feel like you’re a bigger part of something.
So, for now I grab my keys, I put aside my cynical nature as much as possible to get in my car and drive to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, the reason the downtown market closed. The reason Safeway struggles. The reason the farm markets are scattered and dismantled. I know it and I vote for it with every dollar I spend there. I know that. I go to Safeway when I can. But it is very expensive. I desperately try to feed the family in the only way I know how, healthy veggies that can rarely be found. Organic meat and produce that should be on every shelf is no where in sight. I can hear the gasps... I know. Rebekah drives to the grocery store (Wal-Mart no less) and she is eating food that isn’t organic and hasn’t burst into flames? Yeah, I've been like the phoenix... I still rise. In fact, I have photos to share of the Wal-Mart shelves that are sparsely filled of veggies and fruit. It is getting more and more difficult to get food shipped here, is your town next?? Stop being so naive about food production.
I took these because I wanted to show John that I wasn't kidding when I said reviving the bakery was not a possibility. I could no longer get the ingredients I needed to bake. I was having one of those days. This is a random afternoon and when I go today it will be the same. This is not after a holiday or in the middle of a stocking change.
The devil Wal-Mart I’m sure came with all these grand boasts of everything you ever wanted and more... jobs and all that jazz. No full-time employees of course. Bullshit is what they came with as usual. All this farmland surrounding the Wal-Mart no less. I’ve got an idea... GROW LOCAL! BUY LOCAL! Yeah, I’m the insane one. Because we live in a desert prairie that sells its water to Kansas. What is a prairie girl, with two cars, that lives in a ranch house that has turned its back to the alley to do? Right now, not a damn thing. I can’t point a finger at anybody without getting one right back. I don’t have any other choices. Frustration builds and ebbs away... every few weeks. Ignorance would be bliss about now.
I had to add after all of that ranting that my friend Allison sent me an email that I needed today. It was very thoughtful and had beautiful words of wisdom. I think this is what I needed before I created this post. But happy to have it after nonetheless.
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” Eckart Tolle
Saturday, June 9, 2012
A Series of Beginnings and Endings
When least expected, the unexpected happens. Yes, I know, duh. And yet such an exciting part of life. That is, when the change that has occurred happens to be one you've hoped for, prayed for, longed for. When I met John I had no idea that within in the span of four weeks we would be married. It was a whirlwind romance found in books long, long ago. Our life began with what truly amounted to a three month honeymoon while I worked from home and he started school again. We loved spending time together at the zoo, walking around our Capitol Hill neighborhood and just enjoying the feeling of finding your true love. Yes, birds and hearts would actually circle our heads. They still do.
In four months we would move from Denver to Las Animas, Colorado; a very small rural town in the southeast prairie. It would take us 208 miles from our friends, neighborhood and life as I’d known it. I would transform myself from an architect to become a school teacher to 7th graders. In another three months we would leave our beloved first home behind and move temporarily to our second house in Las Animas. John would graduate from the police academy and secure a job in another town up the road. Because of the new job we would have to move in three months to said town up the road and find another house.
We would also find out that we were pregnant.
We celebrated our first wedding anniversary April 23, 2012 in our new home in La Junta. I was 6 months pregnant. John had been at his job for four months. He absolutely loves it. I’ve never seen anyone happier to go to work every day when the alarm goes off. I on the other hand was having a very hard time adjusting to being a teacher. I know now that I resented it. I wanted the life of an architect that I had known for twelve years. I hated that kids didn’t want to learn. But I kept at it and by the second semester I was doing a lot better. I’d crafted lessons that were about life and leadership. I found a little ground to stand on to get me through the year.
School is out now and I’m “inbetween” jobs. I’m waiting for my new lifelong career as a mother to begin. We’re due on July 20, 2012. So I don’t have too far to go. In the meantime I seem to be drifting. I’m honestly a bit lost. There are no possible job prospects here that can apply my education and experience. That makes me sad... frustrated... sometimes I cry about it. I loved my work. But my husband has for the first time the only job he has ever loved. And it makes me smile and truly does make me happy to see him go to work everyday and come home with a sense of pride.
I’ve reimagined this blog because I know that I can work things out when I talk about them. Only thing is... I don’t have any friends here I can talk to. I spend my days alone. We have a dog. Her name is Irma. She doesn’t mind me ranting at her sometimes. But at the end of the day, I don’t know what to do next. I’ve been working on my domestic goddess status. It is a bit frayed. While I love cooking, sewing, crafting and solving organizational problems around the home, we are a one income family. My ideas are lofty. I’m working on half a shoestring most of the time.
So here is my new blog about life on the prairie with my forever valentine John. My new baby boy is on the way. I’m sure things are going to change a lot. I’m so glad for that. Like I said in the beginning of this post: When least expected, the unexpected happens. And yet such an exciting part of life. That is when the change that has occurred is one that you had hoped for, prayed for, longed for.
In four months we would move from Denver to Las Animas, Colorado; a very small rural town in the southeast prairie. It would take us 208 miles from our friends, neighborhood and life as I’d known it. I would transform myself from an architect to become a school teacher to 7th graders. In another three months we would leave our beloved first home behind and move temporarily to our second house in Las Animas. John would graduate from the police academy and secure a job in another town up the road. Because of the new job we would have to move in three months to said town up the road and find another house.
We would also find out that we were pregnant.
We celebrated our first wedding anniversary April 23, 2012 in our new home in La Junta. I was 6 months pregnant. John had been at his job for four months. He absolutely loves it. I’ve never seen anyone happier to go to work every day when the alarm goes off. I on the other hand was having a very hard time adjusting to being a teacher. I know now that I resented it. I wanted the life of an architect that I had known for twelve years. I hated that kids didn’t want to learn. But I kept at it and by the second semester I was doing a lot better. I’d crafted lessons that were about life and leadership. I found a little ground to stand on to get me through the year.
School is out now and I’m “inbetween” jobs. I’m waiting for my new lifelong career as a mother to begin. We’re due on July 20, 2012. So I don’t have too far to go. In the meantime I seem to be drifting. I’m honestly a bit lost. There are no possible job prospects here that can apply my education and experience. That makes me sad... frustrated... sometimes I cry about it. I loved my work. But my husband has for the first time the only job he has ever loved. And it makes me smile and truly does make me happy to see him go to work everyday and come home with a sense of pride.
I’ve reimagined this blog because I know that I can work things out when I talk about them. Only thing is... I don’t have any friends here I can talk to. I spend my days alone. We have a dog. Her name is Irma. She doesn’t mind me ranting at her sometimes. But at the end of the day, I don’t know what to do next. I’ve been working on my domestic goddess status. It is a bit frayed. While I love cooking, sewing, crafting and solving organizational problems around the home, we are a one income family. My ideas are lofty. I’m working on half a shoestring most of the time.
So here is my new blog about life on the prairie with my forever valentine John. My new baby boy is on the way. I’m sure things are going to change a lot. I’m so glad for that. Like I said in the beginning of this post: When least expected, the unexpected happens. And yet such an exciting part of life. That is when the change that has occurred is one that you had hoped for, prayed for, longed for.
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