Happy Halloween - Valentine's for Vampires

Happy Halloween! Check email. 12 new matches from eharmony. 6 new matches from Ok Cupid. AND I received a 'I want to communicate' with you from eharmony. Oh goody, these are tedious and annoying. Just send me an email already. I had a date last week. Usually... I go on about one date a week.

A few weeks ago when I started this I was tripping over guys. I booked them back to back. I went to drinks, then sporting events, dinners and happy hours. It was a lot of fun. I was meeting all different kinds of people really looking for what could click. I have always been into different kinds of guys so I am never looking for a 'type'. I picked guys that I had lots of things in common with so that we could have topics for conversation.

Yes, it all sounds like I was bingeing or something but everything was very innocent. I don't make out with these guys. If they are lucky they get a hug. I made a  promise to myself that I would date at least 30 guys until I thought about getting even serious enough to make out with one of them. That way I would give everyone a fair chance and get to KNOW them. My heart is a little jumpy and tends to leap for the guy who gives me the most attention... even if it's not good attention... even if he's not worth it. I am trying to learn from past mistakes and not give up the heart too soon. All that being said... oh they were good intentions! And everybody falls down once right? Fall down seven times, get up eight...

It was my first date. He invited me to drinks on a Wednesday night. We met and BAM... yes! This is going to be great! We were laughing and talking like we've known each other for a while. He even did his MBA at Notre Dame. So here come the South Bend stories. We had sparks and snaps and connections happening all over the place. ( I am going to just call him Sparks so we don't get confused with other dates.) Sparks was divorced, moved to Colorado from the east coast. Creative, snowboarder and really, really cute. I mean really cute. And did I mention really into me? We are leaving the restaurant and he gave me a hug. Then says, "what the hell." - plants a kiss on me and Oh My God. It was so nice. I giggled all the way home like I was in middle school.

Sparks calls me the next day, we make plans for Saturday (after the ND game of course) He takes me to dinner, then courtside to a Nuggets game. Who IS this guy! I am having so much fun. Sparks is holding my hand and planting little kisses on my cheek whenever he looks at me. He's acting like there aren't even half naked cheerleaders on the floor... just me sitting next to him. I am caught up in all the swirling starlight and my two beer limit. My heart is pounding and beating out in morse code...be cool honey bunny, be cool. This is the first date... BE CAREFUL!

Here it comes... After the game Sparks asks,"one more drink?". This is when my heart is saying, Go home, you've had such a good time. Let it end here. And my stupid head says, "YES! We're having so much fun, don't let it end here!" We made out at the bar. Oh Rebekah, you poor thing. I went home thinking I screwed up. That this guy didn't think I was serious about him. That I didn't really want to get to know him. I just wanted to make out with him and let him drop a serious load of money on me. Who is this girl!? What happened!? I got caught up in someone I could really like and because I felt like I had known him for a while, I ACTED like we knew each other that well. Relative to our connection, feeling like years and NOT relative to our real timeline which was only hours. Lesson catalogued... Is it too late?

We talked the next day (Sunday) and he was so cool, of course. Sparks told me what a great time he had. I backed up my guilt truck and thought... WHEW. He must have been feeling the same! I didn't screw it up! SWEET. This is going to be okay. (BTW, I had two more dates set up for the following week so I was trying to set up the feeling that I will not get serious about anyone. I will take everything slow because I have other guys to meet.) I called him on Monday. No call returned. I sent him a little nudge text on Tuesday morning. Nothing ALL day. I left for my next happy hour date after work. On my way I get a phone call. Disaster strikes twice. 1. He got laid off from his job. 2. He also is coughing and stuffed up and has the flu. Damn you Cupid. You took his pride (work) and now he's got the flu, at least one week away from each other. I tell him to rest and call me later. Later ends up being Saturday. When I call him. BTW... my Tuesday meet up goes fairly well. We split the bill so I call that a 'meet up'. He pays... it's a date. He will be known as 'Serenity'.

Seriously, I can't believe I am still typing. It's so funny to relive all of this! I hope you all know this is AMAZINGLY like therapy :)

Friday night I meet my first Ok Cupid date. We will call him... Tipper. I'll get back to him later.

Okay. I call Sparks on Saturday. We decide to have coffee on Sunday night. I'm so excited to see him again so I straighten my hair and try on about four outfits trying to look cute. When I see him its... different. Yeah, he's been sick and laid off from his job. His attitude is good and he is concentrating on school. Oh, I forgot to mention he's a student at DU getting his second masters. So we share the 'too much paper' thing too. Anyway, we chit chat and end up ordering food and drinking tea for about 2 hours. He's distant. Sparks didn't show up. He sent a dull yellow flickering fluorescent tube light in his presence. I was sad. I walked him half way home to catch my bus. And I can't even prepare you for this flag on the field... I'm just going to drop it on you, like it was dropped on me.

A guy across the street yells,"Hey man, where is the Diamond Cabaret?!" Sparks, without missing a beat, says the address and points the guys in the right direction, THEN tells them it isn't that great of a club. You should go to Shotgun Willie's it's a much better strip club. THEN proceeds to give me the play by play low down on both clubs and a couple others in town. Inside Rebekah's head,"WTF?!?!?" Pick jaw off concrete. What comes out... nervous laughter. We hug and say good night. I get on my bus. I go to my friend Em's house immediately. I vomit the night's happenings to her in shock. Did I hear what I thought I heard? She is sweet and tries to diffuse my anxiety. But we are both left with red flags. I don't ever call him again. He never calls me either. Damn you Cupid.

I go out with Serenity on Sunday morning for brunch.

Summary. 1. Sparks 2. Serenity 3. Tipper in that order. So far every guy I have gone out with wants to see me again. I can't say the same for me. I need help on the cool break up techniques. Not like guys have 'let me down' in the past. Not calling is NOT acceptable.

Could Cupid hit the broadside of a barn?

I know the economy is in the bag... but who laid Cupid off? Seriously. Welcome to my online, blind date adventures. This isn't SITC or Bridget Jones. I love those girls but we don't have much in common. I might identify most with Amelie... loney but content living in a fantasy world not caring to do anything about it until he finally knocks on my door. Everyone else needs me way more than I need myself to be happy.

I am happy with my job and friends so why mess that up with a man? Hmmm. Yeah, I've been thinking about that one for a while. Oh yeah, because it feels really nice to be with someone. This I am reminded when I do hang out with all of my friends who are dating and married. They seem happy... wow, I could use some of THAT kind of happy! So, I joined a couple of online dating sites. again. Yeah, we are on round two.

Sorry I didn't start this earlier... which means I have to do a little history first.

Arrive Denver July 1, 2008. Lonely. Working a lot. Get dog. Lose dog. Date neighbor. Uh oh.... lose neighbor... still friends though. Date friend of a friend. Lose friend of a friend. Re-evaluate dating practices, talk at length with girlfriends, guy friends, mom, grandma, consult web, watch romatic comedies. Hm. Sign up for online dating. Realize that the group of guys I am 'assigned to' want a best guy friend. Their profiles read like this: "Looking for a girl who loves mountain biking, working out, running, rafting, camping, climbing, triathalon, cycling, hiking, skiing, loves my dog, loves me."

Well, I am a very outdoorsy girl, love all seasons and I am in good shape. But um... I don't want to date an uber competitive guy who is so frenetic he can't sit down for a hour and cuddle up with me and watch the day go by a little bit. I dated two of these guys before I figured that out. They are hot guys that you can sit across the table and just love to look at, but their girlfriend will always be mother nature. She is apparently easier than a real girl. These guys don't stay long anyway.

So, you try going the other direction... someone who has listed their qualities as: "I love reading, cooking, going to movies, a nice wine bar, walks in the woods...". You get the idea. This guy loves his mother and all of his nieces and nephews. He has a good job at a bank, engineering firm or marketing. But he also has a habit of downing around 8-12 beers in the course of a football game and not remembering anything you talked about at your last date. So you end up having the same conversation three dates in a row. Yes, exactly, no fourth date. Three is the charm.

I am seriously trying to have the strength to go on... then we have Cheap Date, yeah he asked me what I was going to tip since I ate most of the appetizer. Horrible Driver, he backed into two cars whilst parallel parking in front of the restaurant. Tai Chi... My friend Em says that guys who read buddist books and need a lot of meditation have secret anger issues. This is so unbelieveably SPOT on. This guy just unleashed an email on me that I might just have to share. I read it like twice a day to see if it is for real.

So... I promised myself I would date. And keep dating regardless of the outcomes. That even if I didn't find 'him'. I would find something out about myself that I can't find holed up in my apartment alone. I don't want to forget to tell you that all the rest of the past will come out as this blog grows. I just don't want to overwhelm you all at once! I am sure this was enough.