I agree that the ballet isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I get it. It’s not the most masculine event that one could attend. However, if you purchase the tickets to make your date happy then well… you should at least try?
I took my husband to the opera once. I took him to see Madam Butterfly. It is one of the most beautiful operas I think you can see for the first time. And I loved it. So I thought maybe?? He appreciates all kinds of music. Eh? The show was in Kalamazoo and I paid top dollar for center first balcony seats. I wanted him to see it from the best seats hoping that he would enjoy it.
As you can guess he was miserable. He was also miserable at movies. Concerts were okay though. We went to quite a few and had a lot fun. I will never forget getting tickets to see one of his favourite bands, Weezer. Jack Black opened and it was hilarious! We also saw Radiohead at a great venue in Wisconsin and stayed all week at the resort. And of course if you haven’t heard the story yet… Thom Yorke was in the pool. We were wading and my friend Becky and I were giddy as school girls.
Anyway… the ballet. So I went with the Costanza. The guy that I was so excited to start dating just a blog ago. He came over, I made him dinner… the horrendous kissing. But I thought maybe he was just nervous. Yikes. Cupid is riding in the back of the truck tonight. I told him to be on his best behavior and NO false moves.
So it begins. He picked me up at my place. We were going to have dinner first. Wonder what he will complain about or point out to me tonight. He didn’t like his jacket and he was cold. He also hates that the parking structures in Denver look like buildings and he can’t figure out where to park. Hmm… bite your tongue Rebekah… Okay, you know I didn't. I polietly mention that it makes the city really nice and that there are clearly marked parking garages everywhere. Like this one... marked PARKING HERE.
We get to the restaurant. He didn’t like the first table – we moved to another. He didn’t eat the appetizer and sent it back. Oh geeze. This guy is setting a precedent I don’t like. He doesn’t seem to find anything he likes. And he can find something wrong with everything. He hated the movie Inglorious Bastards because Brad Pitt was in it. Um... and your shocked at his appearance in this film I ask? Yeah. I am a jerk. He said he hates BP and turned off the movie immediately. And that the writing was bad... and that the story seemed contrived. Wow. fiction is funny like that I say. It's up to you to suspend belief or not... right?? I then launch into a diatribe about the West Wing and the Sopranos. An article that I read in the New Yorker or some magazine that described the writing styles of each show. Yeah. No points for Rebekah. I am a moron.
We were at a restaurant that I had seen the greatest band so I turned the conversation to music and books. He worships Hunter S. Thompson. That is pretty cool. I know of him… get the idea of his favor with writers and journalists. He’s really raw and I haven’t read anything of his all the way through. I would like to, just haven’t yet. So I guess my date thinks I’m really a moron now that I don't hero worship his fav writer. Whatever. I bet he’s never read Kunstler or Krier. Who’s the moron now?? Humph.
Going to the theatre, he didn’t know what theatre we were going to. He also didn’t know where it was, exactly what time the show started or where he should park. Okay. Cupid... stop shrugging your shoulders. You are SO fired. Thank you Blackberry. I had looked up going to the ballet a few weeks earlier when I saw how much the ticket was and decided I couldn’t afford the extravagance on my own. So I knew the theatre and where to park. He’s good at complaining like a little B...oy, but not so good at solving things. I can’t believe how unprepared he is. Isn’t this a date?? Cupid, stay in the car.
We get inside, get the tickets after wandering around for the Will Call… and get a drink. We have an hour before the show starts. Yeah. So we get upstairs to the balcony and chat for a while about ballet, anorexia and his nutritional diet schedule. And why it is, in his mind, silly to be vegetarian. For someone who thinks he knows everything – he is clueless. I switch subjects to traveling. He hasn’t been anywhere and I think the Notre Dame school experience is freaking him out. Jeeze… I didn’t go to school to piss you off dude. WTH?? My story started with the traveling I did at Andrews University and I told him that I was married… and divorced 4 years ago. I asked him if he’d ever been married or in a relationship that he thought he might get engaged. He said there was one girl. His last girlfriend of 6 years. He described her as a psychotic alcoholic. You all know how I feel about the bashing. I simply replied,”hmmm”.
“And she was a blonde.” He said to conclude.
“What does that mean?” I replied.
“You know. She was a blonde and therefore all stereotypes apply.” He said.
“I’m a blonde.” I said looking at him with a look of F-you on my face. “I’m 50% Swedish.”
“Oh.” he replied. A bit of shock in his voice as if hair color weren’t invented in his world.
“Artificial intelligence?” I prodded. Now I am just being a bit of a bitch. But I don't like where his bull is leading. What a jerk. I'm over it. I'm at the ballet and I'm going to enjoy my time here.
Subject terminated, so I thought. He then began to explain that he stayed with her because of a series of erotic dreams that he had about her. He got a bit graphic and I got a bit sick. Who knew there would be so much word vomit at the ballet! He just puked up their whole ridiculous relationship onto the table and I just stood there staring at him like SHUT UP!! Am I still at the ballet?? OMG. I had better see some sugarplum faries soon or I am going to run out of here and walk home.
Are all these guys just F-ing clueless?? This is never going to make up for being a rotten kisser or a rotten individual. Yuck. Ick. Gross. I’m going to barf.
We watched the ballet. He was miserable. I was as happy as ever as I was transported away from all of the disgusting conversation into the world of Clara. Oh well, I got to go to the ballet. Company aside, I had a nice time by myself and watching some beautiful dancers. Thank goodness he never even tried to hold my hand, put his arm around me or kiss me again. He dropped me off at home and mentioned he would call me to go see Avatar. Cupid and I walked inside. I sent him to bed with a cup of warm milk and told him we would try again later. He obviously needed his rest.
No, he never called. WHEW...
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