Musings on Love

Because when you're not in love or in a relationship. All you can think about is being in love and being in a relationship. Pardoxically, I typically find myself on the edges of a relationships that I don't want to be in. Then go on complaining about the lack of relationships in my life. Because like with everything else in my life I am cursed with the need for perfection. He's out there. Mr. Perfect. Perfect for me that is. No worries... I like lots of flaws and silly behavior. And dorkiness most of all. It's just that the type A personalities that I love don't always come in that package. They tend to be a little more refined to being as silly as I am. Eh.

For the musing... I recently watched Sleepless in Seattle for the millionth time. This time I completely realized why I will sit and actually watch it all the way through. And be upset if I don't catch it from the beginning. When will a man love me this much?

Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?



Sam Baldwin: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.


Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?


Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.

And the next line, when Annie and Becky are watching 'An Affair to Remember' sums up why it is so pathetic that I love this movie... Because I identify hands down with Annie.

Annie Reed: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...


Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.

AND why I feel like I need to stop watching movies for romantic inspiration. Hear that... inspiration. As if I could find someone who is really like that. Remember when I told you I was not the Bridget Jones kind of girl. No, I immediately could tell you I was Amelie. Because she's right, maybe I don't want to be in love. I want to be in a movie. Amelie is perfectly mysterious and not even a bit overbearing. She is also scared to death to let herself go. Bridget is a mess and lovely. She just let's herself go and screw you if you can't deal with it. Not to mention she has the best group of friends giving her the worst advice. It's awesome. I wish I could be a little of Bridget mixed with Amelie. I guess then you get Annie. The Annie from Sleepless in Seattle.

Okay. I have a stock of movies that I watch for different inspiration. This is how it is:

When a guy dumps me I watch Legally Blonde for this line, "If you let one stupid prick ruin your life, you aren't the girl I thought you were."

Under the Tuscan Sun for the days that my past is bothering me for this line, "Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid. " And you go on and you don't die and things get so much better!

And then this line comes in, "Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come."

Amelie I watch for everything. The whole experience. And especially, "Amélie still seeks solitude. She amuses herself with silly questions about the world below, such as "How many people are having an orgasm right now?" "Fifteen."



Love Actually for this line, "But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this." (When he is giving her the flash cards) Yes, it's horrible and sad and completely wrong. But you can see how much he loves her. Unrequited love is soooo hard. Which is also why I am adicted to "The Holiday".

Yeah. Damn it!! The Holiday!! I couldn't be more angry with myself. But Kate Winslet is giving me a huge big sister push to get what I want. Everytime I see her move on, I move on!

Okay. That's enough for now. I feel exposed. Love you guys like a fat kid loves cake :)