Sex and the Single Girl

My 80 something year old grandparents loved Sex in the City. Except you have to know my grandmother, she renames everything to fit into her own world. She called the show 'Sex and the Single Girl'. She and my grandfather would ask me if I had a bunch of girlfriends that talked about sex, ran around our big town of Kalamazoo and slept with random guys trying to find love. I told them if there were really sexy guys worthy of that here... we might consider it. But, since most of my friends are married and now on their second or third child. No chance. In fact I have just three single friends. And I don't live near any of them.

It feels cold and lonely in Denver without my girl pack near by to pick up my spirts now and then. Or to even go see chick-flicks with. I went and saw New Moon by myself yesterday. And the movie was exactly as promised... a tribute to the god-likeness of Robert Pattison (pitter patter). The worst part were the previews! Three of the sappiest, most horrible trailers that a single girl could see by herself. One called Letters to Juliet almost made me leave the theatre... in tears of course.

Is there anything out there in this world to make a single girl feel good about being single? Not that I can find. Even buying shoes doesn't seem to fix the problem. Mostly because I think that I will wear them for my boyfriend or to seduce some guy with sexy 6" heels. Nope. Not working right now. Because there is sure is a lot of shit that makes me feel like a complete failure that I can't wear these shoes for ME.

But that's all I've got. I've got ME. I can make myself feel good about being single. It's just going to take some time. It's just that it feels like this is a long climb up a long and winding hill to convince myself that I can hold out. That I can have high expectations and that I can just keep fucking smiling through it all too. All this dating has left me a bit harried and feeling empty. I needed to do it or else I wouldn't know how I would have reacted. At least I really know what I can handle. I am a one at a time gal. That I know.

I am off all the dating sites. I let my eharmony subscription expire. I have resolved that I really can't find a guy the same way I buy shoes... online. These guys just don't fit right and when you have to send them back the price is really high. You feel so rejected, even when you're the one saying no. It is much worse than if you just met the guy in a bar. If the conversation isn't nice, you just walk away and he turns to the next girl. In fact, at least when I meet a guy in a bar he is usually with his buddies, having a good time and happy to be out looking for someone. These guys I meet online are just cycling through to see if the shoe fits. Only most of them are even willing to put on the wrong size just to date someone.

I am not willing to date just anyone I guess. So I am out in the world just waiting to see if I will run into Mr. Special-for-me at the grocery or the dry cleaners... Maybe even a bar. I've got an amazing concert ticket to a show for New Year's Eve. I don't want to go alone. And like I said... all my single girlfriends aren't here to take my plus one offer. But hey... I'm seeing movies alone now. I guess a concert on NYE isn't so bad. Maybe there are single guys there too?